Mean Doses

Mean Juice

Pale Ale - New England / Hazy

Some people say they don't like hazy pale ales. They reckon they look weird, or that the massive fruit flavours are too intense. Some other people say… Read More

Some people say they don't like hazy pale ales. They reckon they look weird, or that the massive fruit flavours are too intense. Some other people say there's no accounting for taste.

Both of these groups of people are wrong. Hazy 'New England style' pale ales are awesome, there IS accounting for taste, and we are watching you. You have been warned. Read Less

Mean IPA

IPA - American

Because you need an IPA, don’t you? You do. I mean a brewery needs an IPA, sure, that’s just basic business sense. But you, the people, you need this… Read More

Because you need an IPA, don’t you? You do. I mean a brewery needs an IPA, sure, that’s just basic business sense. But you, the people, you need this too.
This IPA is deep and golden, it has all kinds of pineapple and citrus in it, but also with a clean, balanced bitterness. It’s like a balm for your weary soul. I have seen people cheer up, very quickly, upon tasting this IPA (true story). Read Less

Mean Red IPA

IPA - Red

Flavour notes for this one go: “mahogany goodness with mango, melon and mandarin on the nose, and pineapple...” – ah, whatever, I don't have my reading… Read More

Flavour notes for this one go: “mahogany goodness with mango, melon and mandarin on the nose, and pineapple...” – ah, whatever, I don't have my reading glasses and Dean’s handwriting is hard to decipher. I think it says “raisin and pine flavours”?Hmm. I've never been good at identifying all these little fruit tastes, maybe people just make all that stuff up? I get more of a caramel thing from it. Anyway it's awesome – personally, this one is my favourite. Read Less

Mean Bounty

Brown Ale - Other

Welcome aboard the HMS Mean Bounty. As you might have guessed, it's generally about the chocolate and coconut (which is possibly a fruit), and this Raspberry… Read More

Welcome aboard the HMS Mean Bounty. As you might have guessed, it's generally about the chocolate and coconut (which is possibly a fruit), and this Raspberry Horizon edition is all about the raspberry (definitely a fruit). It's yummy, it's brown, it's lighter than a stout and - wait, why are you even still reading this? Read Less

Mean XPA

Pale Ale - New Zealand

Good lord, these tasting notes. "Pours a light gold", okay well that is literally true. "Aromas of lime with hints of pine and earthiness", I mean...… Read More

Good lord, these tasting notes. "Pours a light gold", okay well that is literally true. "Aromas of lime with hints of pine and earthiness", I mean... it smells like fruit and trees? And... dirt? Maybe.
Maybe there's a whole ecosystem of taste happening here, I don't know. TBH my sense of smell is a bit rooted (don't smoke cigarettes kids, they're bad for you). For me an XPA is a seasonal thing. When an independent brewery starts bringing out an XPA, you know it's gonna be T-shirt weather.
Come on, Wellington. T-shirt weather. We're waiting. Read Less

Mean Haze

IPA - New England / Hazy

You ever see the 1980s Dune film? The David Lynch one? Most people say it was confusing. Me, I loved it. Anyway, you know the scene where they "fold space"… Read More

You ever see the 1980s Dune film? The David Lynch one? Most people say it was confusing. Me, I loved it.

Anyway, you know the scene where they "fold space" - where the Navigator, that fish-baby-thing, floats in a glowing liquid and shoots golden light from its mouth? And that's how they travel through the galaxy? True story: this is the beer they used to shoot that scene. It's a hazy IPA with Amarillo, Centennial and Simcoe hops.

The Haze must flow. Read Less

Horchata Stout

Stout - Milk / Sweet

Horchata: you might have heard of it. Or else you're a dumb prole like me, someone's dropping the term "Horchata Stout" on you and you're like "wut".… Read More

Horchata: you might have heard of it. Or else you're a dumb prole like me, someone's dropping the term "Horchata Stout" on you and you're like "wut".
Wikipedia tells me that Horchata (or orxata) is a spiced plant-based drink originating from North Africa, or maybe Spain; that it's made with rice, or tiger nuts, or sometimes with milk. It's popular in South America (although I've never been there), James I of Aragon drank it one time. Vampire Weekend did a song about it. Hmm, I liked the first VW album. Never stuck with them though.
In practical terms, we're talking about a spiced stout made with cinnamon, milk sugars and cocoa pops. Personally I think that sounds marvellous. Read Less

Galaga

IPA - New England / Hazy

Yeah I know, it’s another hazy. And it’s got an 80s-reference name. But this isn’t us “playing the hits”. This is us making the hits. This is the best… Read More

Yeah I know, it’s another hazy. And it’s got an 80s-reference name. But this isn’t us “playing the hits”. This is us making the hits.

This is the best damn hazy we’ve made. It’s dank. And anyway shut up, because hazies are yum. And also when did you last play Galaga? It’s really hard. Like making excellent hazies is really hard.

And yes we are also really good at Galaga. Read Less

Banana Boss

Wheat Beer - Hefeweizen

Craft beer is a challenging game. Once you've fought your way through the fruit level - all those dive-bombing berry sours, the grapefruit hazies falling… Read More

Craft beer is a challenging game. Once you've fought your way through the fruit level - all those dive-bombing berry sours, the grapefruit hazies falling out of the trees - you've got to tackle this monster.
It's a german wheat beer. It hulked out in our lab, and now it tastes of bananas and cloves. It is *formidably refreshing*.

Maybe look up the walkthrough? Or else just mash the buttons, it's what I usually do. Read Less

Mean Porter

Porter - English

This one is easy going (NB a porter, not a stout). It's sessionable, you've got a mild thing happening here; bittersweet, a bit chocolate-y. You could… Read More

This one is easy going (NB a porter, not a stout). It's sessionable, you've got a mild thing happening here; bittersweet, a bit chocolate-y. You could take this beer to a sick relative. You could drink responsible amounts of this while looking after other people's children. It's that kind of beer. Read Less

Pink Mist

Pale Ale - New England / Hazy

Here's that creamy raspberry hazy you've been hanging out for. It tastes like sweetness and cool synthesisers. Drink this mid-strength offering if you're… Read More

Here's that creamy raspberry hazy you've been hanging out for. It tastes like sweetness and cool synthesisers.
Drink this mid-strength offering if you're into neon, retro futurism, or Depeche Mode.
Or else just drink it if you want to accessorise and look good - pink goes with everything. Read Less

Mean Angel

IPA - American

We thought we'd make another IPA. There's nothing wrong with our other IPAs, we just thought we'd make something a touch... softer. This one is still… Read More

We thought we'd make another IPA.
There's nothing wrong with our other IPAs, we just thought we'd make something a touch... softer.
This one is still strong. Like, of course it is. But it's also smoother, it's kinder.
In these Mean times, on these Mean streets, you need a strong, kind beer to watch your back.
This is that beer. Read Less

BIG

IPA - Imperial / Double

Presenting the debut of a new talent. Last week Michael was just an ordinary 12 year old boy with big dreams of someday becoming a craft brewer. But after… Read More

Presenting the debut of a new talent. Last week Michael was just an ordinary 12 year old boy with big dreams of someday becoming a craft brewer. But after dropping 25 cents in a Zoltar machine (not easy with NZ currency), and heaps of centennial, simcoe and sabro hops into a vat of boiling water, some weird magic has kicked in. So now we have this: a gorgeous, fully grown IPA which mixes pine resin, citrus, coconut and tropical flavours. Read Less

Mean Cerveza

Lager - Pale

The Tarahumara people of North Western Mexico are famed for their running ability. You've probably heard of these guys, yeah? They stay up all night drinking… Read More

The Tarahumara people of North Western Mexico are famed for their running ability. You've probably heard of these guys, yeah? They stay up all night drinking corn beer, then come morning they're off, running as far as 320 km in a single session.
Imagine that: 320 km in one go. Yeesh!

I like to think about the Tarahumara as I kick back and drink this smooth Mexican lager. It's made from corn, just like their beer, except it's got lager and Vienna malts too so probably it's nicer.
Settling deeper into my bean bag, luxuriating in the floral and tobacco flavours of this cerveza's hop profile, I picture those guys jogging out across the peaks and valleys of the Sierra Madre.
Then later I get up and make nachos. Read Less

Mean Summer

Wheat Beer - American Pale Wheat

Where do you draw the line, between a lager and a wheat beer? Does it matter? Do you need to draw lines between everything? You seem anxious about this.… Read More

Where do you draw the line, between a lager and a wheat beer? Does it matter? Do you need to draw lines between everything?

You seem anxious about this. I'm sorry for raising the issue. Here, relax. Drink a Mean Summer. It's floral and hazy, and it sort of tastes like citrus, or something.

There, see? All better now.

(& have you noticed all this warm weather we've been having!? Phew!) Read Less

Mean Voorhees

Sour - Other

Yeah, we're releasing a Friday the 13th themed beer on Halloween. Yeah, I know, I know. All you horror geeks will be having conniptions over this. I tried… Read More

Yeah, we're releasing a Friday the 13th themed beer on Halloween.

Yeah, I know, I know. All you horror geeks will be having conniptions over this. I tried to talk them out of it, but the bottom line is I don't make the decisions, and also I really need this job.

And it's not like it's the easiest thing to market, I mean, a Jason themed beer released on Michael Myers' Day.

Um, well maybe have a stab at this spiced red... oh God. That's awful.

How about: this spiced red milkshake sour is bloody good? Christ, no, that's actually worse.



Come on, think. You really need this job.

Uh...

Happy Halloween. Drink this beer. Read Less

Mean Tropical IPA

IPA - American

From the people who brewed you Mean Tropical Stout, and the tired, hungover copywriter who brought you the notes for... Mean Tropical Stout comes this… Read More

From the people who brewed you Mean Tropical Stout, and the tired, hungover copywriter who brought you the notes for... Mean Tropical Stout comes this latest addition to the Mean Doses Tropical beer universe: MEAN TROPICAL IPA.
This winter... get ready to have everything you thought you knew about Dean's beer confirmed - because if you liked it before, you'll definitely like it this time.
Starring: Pineapple and Mango Flavours, Stone Fruit Undertones, and a hazy IPA brewing technique that might result in a hazy beer or might not - we just don't know yet. Read Less

Mean Milk Brownie

Brown Ale - Other

I know you've got a thing against brown ales, so I'm not even going to try and sell you this one. That's a shame, you know, because this beer is frikkin'… Read More

I know you've got a thing against brown ales, so I'm not even going to try and sell you this one.
That's a shame, you know, because this beer is frikkin' awesome. It's sweet and smooth, kind of like a porter but with better manners.
But whatever, you said you don't like brown - no, no, seriously. It's fine.
Just means there's more for the rest of us. Read Less

Mean Sour - Mango

Sour - Fruited

Not everyone is on board the sour beer party train. It's understandable. Sour beers can taste like having your gums excoriated by a trainee dentist. Not… Read More

Not everyone is on board the sour beer party train. It's understandable. Sour beers can taste like having your gums excoriated by a trainee dentist. Not everyone is into that.

Here at Mean Doses we have rectified this situation through clarity of vision, technical excellence and like a million tons of mango pulp. THIS sour beer tastes of optimism, and success. It is like a cool breeze blowing through some hi-tech stained glass window. IT TASTES OF THE FUTURE.

So if you like sour beers, here's a late Christmas present. And if you've never liked them, well, here is why you're wrong. Read Less

Replicant

IPA - Triple New England / Hazy

This is like our triple mega hazy. It's quite the thing. And I know, I know, it's strong - but come on, this is Beervana. You knew this was going to happen.… Read More

This is like our triple mega hazy. It's quite the thing. And I know, I know, it's strong - but come on, this is Beervana. You knew this was going to happen.
We've lovingly crafted this with Citra, Mosaic, Hallertau Blanc and Rakau. It's your basic full spectrum fruity taste sensation.
Drink this one because you deserve to. You really do.
(Oh and I suppose I need a Blade Runner reference at the end, so here goes: "yadda yadda, C-beams glittering off the Tannhauser Gate". There, done.) Read Less

Gruber - A Mean Pale Ale

Pale Ale - New Zealand

Here it comes, gatecrashing your office parties this summer - GRUBER, the latest offering in our line of high-class ales. Gruber is a New Zealand-style… Read More

Here it comes, gatecrashing your office parties this summer - GRUBER, the latest offering in our line of high-class ales.

Gruber is a New Zealand-style pale ale, with Kohatu and Riwaka hops and spicy marmalade flavours. You might think it's all sweetness and charm, but underneath its friendly exterior it's packing a squad of Nelson Sauvin hops and full-bodied bitterness.

Don't expect the police to help you tackle this one. You're going to have to go up against it alone. Yippie Kai Yay, melon farmers... Read Less

Santa Carla

IPA - New England / Hazy

My girlfriend still hasn't seen The Lost Boys. Can you imagine? I keep renting the VHS, she just won't watch it. Well now we have this beer, with its… Read More

My girlfriend still hasn't seen The Lost Boys. Can you imagine? I keep renting the VHS, she just won't watch it.
Well now we have this beer, with its bare-chested, pony-tailed, saxophone-playing load of American hops, and its gothy youth choir of NEIPA flavours. You can drink this one at the beach. You can invite it into your home. It tastes like the 80s, but in a slick and stylish way.
Only thing I can't stand about this haze? All the damn vampires. Read Less

Mean Imperial Stout: Whisky Barrel Aged

Stout - Imperial / Double

You were wondering, eh. You were like: "I wonder when Mean Doses is gonna make a mean-as stout, all smooth and chocolatey and barrelly?" Or else you don't… Read More

You were wondering, eh. You were like: "I wonder when Mean Doses is gonna make a mean-as stout, all smooth and chocolatey and barrelly?" Or else you don't know who we are, and you're just like: "Oh, a high percentage stout, wonder if it's any good."
Well wonder no more. PS: yes, it's really good. Read Less

Mean Raheem - Fresh Hop IPA

Pale Ale - New Zealand

Coming at you with the power of 12 D Energizers, this fresh hop IPA uses Motueka and Riwaka hops to represent the Manichean struggle between Love (the… Read More

Coming at you with the power of 12 D Energizers, this fresh hop IPA uses Motueka and Riwaka hops to represent the Manichean struggle between Love (the Right Hand) and Hate (the Left Hand) in contemporary society.

It was with Riwaka hops that Cain slew his brother. And Motueka hops, which go straight to the soul of man. Riwaka is always fighting Motueka, and Riwaka is kicking much ass. But stop the presses, Motueka's coming back - yeah Motueka has Riwaka on the ropes. And BOOM, a devastating right. Riwaka KO'ed by Motueka. So think of as a... what?

No. I said 12. 12 D ENERGIZERS. Read Less

Mean Haze - Beervana

IPA - New England / Hazy

You ever see the 1980s Dune film? The David Lynch one? Most people say it was confusing. Me, I loved it. Anyway, you know the scene where they "fold space"… Read More

You ever see the 1980s Dune film? The David Lynch one? Most people say it was confusing. Me, I loved it.
Anyway, you know the scene where they "fold space" - where the Navigator, that fish-baby-thing, floats in a glowing liquid and shoots golden light from its mouth? And that's how they travel through the galaxy? True story: this is the beer they used to shoot that scene. It's a hazy IPA with an actual fruit cocktail of hops.
The Haze must flow. Read Less