Easy Eddy is once again in custody, and this time his slime spree across the compost heap is at an end. As the officers that brought Eddy in pat each other on the backs, a list of names of Eddy's victims is being read on live television.
We interrupt your social media feed to update you on fugitive Eddy and the Race for the Century Badge. What you are seeing is live footage of Eddy, who has been located in the backyard using UPS tracking technology.
We go live to Chief of Police Wingert, who is announcing the discovery of multiple dead snails near Easy's last reported location. "Names of the victims will be read to the press sometime tomorrow", said Wingert.